Dirty old man or sleazy shop clerk? YOU DECIDE.

So...a few days ago this 82 year old man came into the store and was shopping for jeans for his 50 year old daughter. Being the retail sales professional that I am, I screamed, 'no person can buy jeans for a woman!!!! it's not possible!!' (ok, i just thought that). We picked out some, but he didn't like them because they looked faded and he threw out the old 'back in my day' line. So, whatever. I thought he was a cute old man for trying.

Today he comes back, still looking for his daughter. He pretty much ruled out the jeans and after looking for a few, he picked up a dress. The dress was a size six and he was wondering if it would fit her....ummm, how am I supposed to know? Men--this is a common problem...either know your lady's (or daughter's in this case) sizes or don't buy clothes. As a good retail sales professional, you have to somehow try to imagine this person and figure out what size they actually are....at all costs you try to avoid saying, 'how is she in comparison to me?' (that sets you up for being looked over and most likely feeling huge afterwards). So, I asked, 'how tall is she?' The man goes, 'well, she's about like you---maybe a little shorter.' Great--no comparisons please. The dress was one that was fitted through the top and not through the bottom, so bottom size didn't matter...so, stupid me asks, 'is she smaller through the top?' Then, he asks a question that I'm not even sure Ross knows the answer to..."what's your bra size?" (ummm...excuse me? I think I immediately crossed my arms and didn't move them for the duration of his time in the store.) What else was I to say...I answered him...why, I have no idea. I can't even remember the conversation seconds after that, but he didn't get the dress.

So, he found some random lady in the store once I started helping someone else and she worked more magic than I and convinced him to buy a logo t-shirt with crystals on it for $120. (way to go lady!) During the check out process, I'm required to ask if they want their items delivered to their room. (we give it to a bellMAN and they deliver it)....anyways, the man didn't quite understand the question. so, a younger man said, "she's asking if she can 'deliver it' to your room.' In a loud voice, the 82 year old man says , 'I've been married for 59 years and I'm not about to screw it up now.' I was completely mortified...stupid job requirements! I'm never asking that question again EVER to a man purchasing anything by himself. I hope I never see that guy ever again. Cute old man, huh? Sicko.

Do I have the cutest nieces & nephews around or what? Hey guys!

Don't know what's worse, the coons or the nature lovers

So, we have these racoons that live at our house and they are the biggest pests...they try to live under the porch and they eat from the trash can and if you catch them doing it, they get up on their hind legs and hiss at you. SCARY, i know.

Anyways, yesterday I was getting my bike from the side of the house when my neighbors started telling me about how the racoon was on my hammock the other day swinging away. Ummm, that is where I draw the line...that's my new hammock and that darn coon better get off it.

Anyways, trying to make conversation I said, 'yeah, we had 3 of them last summer and trapped one and released it out past minturn.' Both of their faces turned to complete horror and they said, 'they aren't hurting anything.' I told them about how they live under our porch & eat our trash, they still looked at me like we were crazy for trapping it. seriously, people here make such a big deal about feeding bears, but feeding coons is for some reason ok.

I guess our coon trapping will have to be incognito or they will turn us in or something.

Hey Rockstar Kel

Hey Rockstar Kel:
Remember how I told you I sent you a t-shirt in the mail that qouted one of the songs on our debut album, 'love stinks.' Well, I mailed it on December 8th and got it back yesterday...good to know some wierdo didn't intercept it! I'll save it for you! The mail is a marvelous thing.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I got a hammock for my birthday!!! Ross made the sweet stand.

KTV...I love you!!!

So, KTV is the craze, it's the thing to do here in Chiner. KTV is kareoke...Let me explain one thing to you about Chiner...everyone sings here, it's doesn't matter if you sing great or if it sounds horrible...you just gotta put your heart into it. And let me tell you, people do. I've heard some REALLY horrible singing, but those people had more emotion in there singing than Mariah or Whitney ever did. Last night I went to sing KTV with a group of friends...it's just so funny. There was one guy there that really can't sing well, but he LOVES to sing. My friend said that this guy could get his own KTV room and sing KTV alone all day long and be happy. I love Chiner, the country where you can sing your heart out, sound horrible, and everyone still loves you!

Oh, Bear.

So, after 3 years of living in colorado I saw my first bear. We were driving down the highway and some tourists were out of their car taking a picture of the dead bear on the side of the road. It was ginormous with big old paws...i felt bad for it. hopefully soon I will see a real live one.

Poll: What kind of meat will you eat?

I've been thinking a lot about deli meat lately. I'll start by saying, I am very particular...I will only buy from the smallest turkey in the counter (Jeano is usually the smallest) because I am more convinced that it came from a real turkey. I wait the 10 minutes it takes the pour woman to shave the meat (she's probably cussing at me in spanish the whole time because it takes 5 times longer to get it shaved). As weird as it sounds, here in town the only place you can get this done is at Walmart...all the other places have pre-sliced and I'm like,'sick...no thanks.' This week I was shopping at a different store and I wasn't about to have anypart of pre-sliced, non-shaved meat--so I told ross to pick some up from walmart. This morning, I pull out our deli meat and was completely grossed out because it was thicker than shaved and it was wet and slimy....um, hurl. I made the sandwiches anyways, thinking I would survive. The whole way to work I was thinking about how I have to dispose of the sandwich...the wet meat just kept turning in my mind and stomach.

So my question is...Is it just me who has a phobia of deli meat? How can people eat that sick meat that is like a 2 foot rectangle and tells the water content on the package? Talk about slime city. And does anyone think that thickness is related to grossness? Oscar Meyer pre-slices...does that gross anyone else out?

Then again, when it comes to loving hotdogs...i don't have any issues.

The Dresses for real this time...

The Dresses...

These are the "bridesmaids"...looks like the real deal, huh?

Don't be fooled...

I know what you are thinking...wow, KK got to be a part of a wedding and she is taking a picture with the bride. Oh no my friends...that is not true. My hommie CH had a final lecture to give to his entire school and so he decided to go out with style. He put together an elaborate American wedding so everyone could see what it was really like. It was so elaborate that he rented the guys tuxes and the girls had matching dresses made. V- your wedding was the girls inspiration...they thought the bridesmaids dresses were so pretty so they wanted to get some made like the ones we wore in your wedding. He was the "pastor"...I was the "singer"...It was pretty funny seeing that the "wedding party" had never seen an American wedding before. Yet another crazy experience to add to the list.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUNKY V!!!

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY FUNKY V...WE LOVE YOU!!!

Hey Smarty!

fits 3 dudes

Over Christmas, Ross & I got a free tent through Young Life. We pulled it out last weekend to go camping and were once again entertained by the capacity reading on the box. Instead of saying: 'Maximum load: 3 adults' or something like that....they manufacturer chose to say, 'Fits 3 dudes.' At the retreat where we got these there were some mega tents that fit up the 12 dudes (like the picture shown). Funny huh?

Keep your eyes out for a ghetto truck!

If anyone ever comes across one of these ghetto trucks...it's my husband's dream car...so let me know. It's an international harvester crewcab.

Let me tell you why you are ridiculous....

(the title of this post can be credited to ms. bethany reese)

so, the store that i work at is in a hotel...that means we carry the usual things you might run out of or forget during your stay. All these items are stored behind the counter which is a little bit bigger than the space a bathtub would take up--the rest of the store is all clothing. Among the items behind the counter, we do carry cigarettes..but as you can imagine, it's not a very large selection. For those who don't smoke and have never sold cigarettes, the basics we carry are Marlboro Lights, Camel, Marlboro Reds and a Mentol Cig. Don't ask me why, but they all come in soft or hard pack--but we only carry hard pack. And most you can get in x-long 100s...again, don't ask me why there is a choice. With this brief cig education, you will find this story funny. This lady comes into the store, clearly seeing that we don't that the gigantic cigarette holder hanging from the ceiling that you would normally see in a convenience store, and asks, 'I'll take a pack of Virginia Slims Ultra Light Menthol 100's please.' Let me tell you why you are ridiculous.

Flippy-Ippy

Dude, yesterday we went to the Teva Mountain Games in Vail to watch the big air flip kayak event. There is this place in the river where it makes this big wave and the paddle in and try to do flips for height. If you land back in the wave and can do another one you are the best! No one these tricks 3 years ago--it's totally new age. It's probably one of the sickest things I've ever seen. I mean these people are so athletic it wore me out watching. Just a little inside to the extreme life if Vail, CO.

Gunther's Big Move

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Gunther, the world traveler, just made his way down to The Woodlands for retirement. After following the Cheryl & Owen clan through North Carolina, Japan, the New Orleans and New Jersey, he's done with kids and ready to hang out with my old fart dad. Here is a picture at his good-bye party.